A Crush is a Six out of Ten Soda, and a Five out of Ten Life Experience

 

If you think about it, the stages of grief also work with having a crush if you are also both internally emotional, and dramatic.

Hi everyone I’m a sword-wielding knight. I’m here to cut down your advice needs like a dragon in a wild fairy tale. It’s all very professional.

“How can I tell if a boy likes me?”

-anonymous

Hahaha, funny question. If you find the answer anonymous, please tell me. This is a very hard question for me to answer for multiple reasons, 1.) I’m not a guy, 2.) Not every person shows their feelings the same way, and 3.) I have no idea what your personal situation is like. Anyways, if you’re asking this question my guess is that if you really think they like you, they probably do and you’re just being really aloof to their actions, or alternatively, maybe you just misread some signs they’ve been giving off. Crushes and having crushes is just a weird and often overly complicated experience. Like it’s nice occasionally, but mostly exhausting and you find yourself overly caring about everything that they think or see you as. “Oh no! I think my crush finds me extremely annoying/Oh no! Does my crush mutually like me/Oh no! My crush doesn’t even notice me/etc..” Honestly, it’s all very very tiring and maybe instead of trying to find out if he likes you or not, just take a step back and take a break. While you read this, spend like two minutes not caring about anything at all.

Now that you’re done not caring, here’s a list of potential signs that someone likes you: 1. They go out of their way to talk to you.  2. Eye contact.  3. They tell you that they like you.  4. Every time you’re near a puddle they throw their coat on it as a makeshift bridge. 5. They’ve been giving you large amounts of money for about 10 weeks now.  6. You’re married.  7. Your zodiac signs are compatible but also you’ve been dating for almost 6 months already.  8. They exclusively send you texts in secret codes that take days to understand.  9. Whenever you’re near them they melt into a puddle like the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz.  10. When you two got stuck in the wilderness for a month, they punched a bear to save your life, despite the fact that they would have had more resources left for themselves to survive if you died.

Well, that’s all I have today. I’m sorry for how underqualified I am at this but good luck. If you have any questions you want to be answered, send them here: https://goo.gl/forms/BJRMlvdiBgfFuqKq2

“keep it 10% weepy and 90% freaky”

-ab-so-lutely

Whatchya think?